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Deepest Fear

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking, so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Not too long ago my therapist shared this poem with me. What hit me the most was “There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking, so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.” I struggle with this so much! Somehow, being humble in my mind means not being. Not being any of the good qualities that make me who I am because that is somehow conceited. Which in turn makes my self worth tricky to obtain and attracts the wrong type of people. It’s silly how we do these things to ourselves. It’s even trickier when deep down, I have this self worth that comes out when I am pushed morally or feel I am being taken advantage of. Because then, all of the sudden this small person, has a loud voice. That same loud voice I use to keep strangers away. How wild are our minds!? This is so much to navigate and figure out. Currently, my biggest struggle is how NOT to react to situations the same now that I see them. Protector is stubborn and is fighting this new growth simply because she doe not know how to act anymore.

”Dance, Dance” - The Castanets

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Trauma Response

The last month or so, out of nowhere, I found myself feeling very regressed in my growth and mental health. It was like I had time traveled to a frame of mind before I “did the work.” It was confusing


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