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Read this quote today that read “You will only ever live the life you create for yourself.”

I’ll only live the life I create for myself? Made me super frustrated reading that. I feel so bitter. How could I have created this life for myself? How could I have done this to myself? I have always lived as honest of a life that I could. Always aware of what I put out into the world. After being force fed The Golden Rule, how could I not? “Treat others how you want to be treated.” What a crock. People don’t treat me how I treat them. Being helpful equates to being a pushover. Being nice equates to feeling threatened. How dare I hold a few doors open for some dude right? What about my traumas? I created that? I did that to myself? Maybe I am taking that quote the wrong way because I am so angry…but what the hell man!? I am not living the life I created. How could I live the life I created if my childhood has turned my brain into a twisted mess? How is that fair? “Oh hi, I am Life. I am going to deal you a shitty hand, and then tell you it’s your fault when you are a depressed asshole because YOU created this.” Great, thanks life. I’m so over you.

”Auto Rock” Mogwai

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Trauma Response

The last month or so, out of nowhere, I found myself feeling very regressed in my growth and mental health. It was like I had time traveled to a frame of mind before I “did the work.” It was confusing

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