Recently it was brought to my attention that I may sound a little bit like a victim in the things I write. It forced me to take some time this week and really, really think about how I come across and how my posts leave people feeling. Then I realized, thoughts like these are what put the mask back on. I didn’t create this page originally for everyone else. It was something I needed to do for myself. So I sound a little bit like a victim. Well, I feel like one, and these feelings have to come out. My inner child has to be heard somehow. Life seems to have it out for me. It’s a difficult pill to swallow whether that statement it true or not. What the fuck am I supposed to do with that feeling? Even still, I make attempts. I try. I do whatever I know to do to challenge that thought. Nothing. All I get is feeling so shitty about my existence. I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I don’t want my past to make up how I feel about my future. But how? I keep challenging every feeling by putting myself out there in ways I wouldn’t have before. It just ends in disappointment. Trying with all my might to not feel defeated. I just feel at a loss these days.
“Wasting Time” Jack Johnson